All-Time Favourite Alcohol Quotes

Nowadays we celebrate our achievement, success, joy or any special moment to drinking alcohol. Limited Drinking is not injured for health or you tell it is better for health. Nowadays Drinking belongs to happiness, joy nobility. In that time if you need some best Drinking Status or alcohol quotes then you must need to visit our page.


Here we sort out all time favorite Alcohol Quotes which you love the most.

Alcohol Quotes

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
~James Thurber

“It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard-drinking people.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

If the ocean was vodka and I was a duck I’d swim to the bottom and never come up.
But the ocean’s not vodka and I am not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the f**k up!

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.

Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.

Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

“Death: “THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.”
Albert: “Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

I know I should give up drinking, but I am not a quitter.

My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.

“There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.

I’m not drunk, just a little stoned.


I’m only here for one… Better make it a pitcher.


Never drink on an empty head

Of course I am gonna drive. I am too drunk to walk.

Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!

A drunk man never tells a lie.

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker.

Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient Champagne.

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.

I swear to Drunk, I’m not God!

I drink to make other people more interesting.
– Ernest Hemingway

Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker…

“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: “Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.

Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not

Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”

“I automatically assume people won’t like me, so I don’t talk to them unless they approach me first. I can’t become a part of a crowd because I can’t get past that feeling that I don’t belong.”

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems

“Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking

Act single, see double, drink triple

Alcoholic friends are as easy to make as Sea Monkeys.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not.

I’m on whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already!

I think I need a drink.’
‘Almost everybody does only they don’t know it.”

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

Has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.

I drink because I work, I work so I can drink.

Money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy you alcohol.

I heard this one the other day…
When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them vodka, mix them together and have a party!!

What is your advice to young writers?”
“Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.

Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn’t have you by the throat.

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples.

Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.

DRINK TO FORGET BUT NEVER FORGET TO DRINK!

Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!

Beer is made by men, wine by God.

A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.

One tequila…. two tequila….. three tequila….. floor…

Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!

One more drink and I’ll be under the host.


I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Ignorance is a lot like alcohol: the more you have of it, the less you are able to see its effect on you.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I exercise self-control and never touch a beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Nothing in life is absolute only vodka

When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.

Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off.

I swear to drunk I’m not god.

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

Why don’t you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?

An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.

it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance

Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question !

Alcoholism and drug addiction are killer of mental and physical health. Alcoholic and drug addicts are killing themselves slowly.

A police officer said to a man “son your eyes looked red have you been drinking?”
Response from the man “gee officer your eyes looked glazed have you been eating doughnuts?”

Drink what you want; drink what you’re able. If you are drinking with me, you’ll be under the table.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become.

Ociffer you hass too listening to me, I swear to drunk I am not god!

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems!

I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.

Ignorance is a lot like alcohol: the more you have of it, the less you are able to see its effect on you.

99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.

It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?

Stumbled into bed late last night. “You’re drunk,” she said. “Also, you live next door.

I’d prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.


Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

There was a tacit understanding between them that ‘liquor helped’; growing more miserable with every glass one hoped for the moment of relief.

Of course I am gonna drive. I am too drunk to walk.

All is fair in love and beer.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Life is too short to drink bad wine.

Help! I fell and I can’t reach my vodka.

When life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk.

The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.

It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine.

Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I could spend 50 bucks on a guitar or I could buy 2 cases of beer and play the air guitar.

I’m not an alcoholic…i just go to the meetings to meet new drinking buddies!!

Alcoholism is a thief of health, mental sanity and human dignity.

I don’t have a drinking problem, it’s you who have a problem with my drinking.

My grandmom is 80 she still dosent need glasses, She drinks straight out of the bottle.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.

It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.

Research consistently shows that the risks to health outweigh the benefits of drinking alcohol. My argument is that the benefits to my mental health justify the risks.

But in college, we can wear our alcohol abuse as proudly as our university sweatshirts; the two concepts are virtually synonymous.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

There are more old drunkards than old physicians.

Alcoholism is a disease that creates temporary madness and insanity. Drug addiction is a disease that destroys health and humanity.

Alcohol: Some Of The Best Times You’ll Never Remember = )

You ask if the glass is half empty or half full,
I ask “Are you gonna finish that beer?

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.

There was nothing glorious about the life of a drinker or the life of a writer.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.

She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!

Alcohol does not solve problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Thinks my computer should have a little alcohol measuring tube to blow into before posting a status on Facebook.

Reality: an illusion due to lack of alcohol

Drink triple, see double, and act single.

You know your drunk when you call your friend on your phone and tell him you can’t find your phone.

Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.


My doctor put an insect in a glass of alcohol, it died – He asked me, what do you learn from this???
I replied, “Alcohol kills germs inside the tummy.


Alcohol Brings Out The Inner Retard In All Of Us…

Take a drink because you pity yourself, and then the drink pities you and has a drink, and then two good drinks get together and that calls for drinks all around.

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.

A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

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