Bad jokes

Jokes always make you laugh, and it’s no matter which is bad jokes or which is good, most of the time Bad jokes are not Bad it’s actually pretty hilarious in the right context, so don’t be feeling so guilty to find the bad jokes and catch yourself chuckling. Read all of our ridiculous bad jokes which surely make you laugh so loud. We put All time popular Bad jokes which are so bad dumb and silly but it’s actually good for you. Read all of our best collections here.


The Bad jokes mentioned below:

Man to a butcher: “I’d like bull’s testicles.” Butcher: “So would I”

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot.

What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty.

Why does Piglet smell?
Because he plays with Pooh.

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

What are a ninja’s favorite type of shoe?
Sneakers.

Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.

How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.

How do you know when you’re going to drown in milk?
When it’s past your eyes.

Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted.

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Our wedding was so beautiful even the cake was in tiers.

What did one plate say to the other?
Lunch is on me.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
They say he made a mint.

What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
A zebra with a sun burn.

Why do bananas need sunscreen? Because they peel.

What do you call a cow that just had a baby? DeCALFeinated or A New Moother

What kind of fish is made of only 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.

If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.

I hate perforated lines, they’re tearable.

How do you make anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too young to be smoking.

What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweet-ment. If you have swine fly, you need oink-ment.

Why don’t dinosaurs talk?
Because they’re dead.

What does a martial arts expert drink?
Kara-tea.

Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Because people are dying to get in.

Why do chicken coops have two doors?
Because if they had four doors, they’d be chicken sedans.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball.

Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because they lift their spirits.

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

What do you call a can of soup that eats other cans of soup? A CANnibal.

So I came home from work yesterday to find that someone broke into my apartment. Looking around, it seemed like they didn’t really take a whole lot. My TV was still there, my PS4, and my legos were fine. But the apartment was dark, even when I tried to turn on the lights. Seems the only thing that was taken were my lightbulbs and a couple lamps…I was delighted.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

The rotation of earth really makes my day.

Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I’m still working on it.

You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn’t spread it.

What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!

What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
Croak-a Cola.

How many lives does a German cat have?
Nein.

What’s a dentist’s favorite musical instrument?
A tuba toothpaste.

Did you hear about that new movie called Constipation?
No? That’s because it’s not out yet.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What

I have kleptomania. Sometimes when it gets really bad, I take something for it.

You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st because it’s only the first date.

If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Want to hear my pizza joke? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

What does a house wear? A dress.

A furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand.

Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism.

Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands!

My wife is on a tropical food diet, the house is full of the stuff. It’s enough to make a mango crazy.

My wife told me I was average, I think she’s m

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…
… but then I turned myself around.

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
“Oops!”

I watched hockey before it was cool.
They were basically swimming.

There’s no hole in your shoe?
Then how’d you get your foot in it?

When the two rabbit ears got married, it was a nice ceremony.
But the reception was amazing.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
Because it was too tired.

A chicken coup only has two doors.
If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

Three fish are in a tank.
One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

Why don’t crabs donate?
Because they’re shellfish.

Had seafood last night, now I’m eel.

I gave all my dead batteries away today… Free of charge.

Just quit my job at Starbucks because day after day it was the same old grind.

Went to the corner shop today… Bought four corners.

How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

I’m thinking about getting a new haircut… I’m going to mullet over.

I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

What did Blackbird say when he turned eighty?
“Aye, matey.”

You can also read Corny Jokes

How does your feline shop?
By reading a catalogue.

It’s hard to teach kleptomaniacs humor.
They take things so literally.

My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini.
I said, “Wow, that’s an amazing car!”
He replied, “If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year”.

A little disappointed joke on average student :
I asked my maths teacher, “Will we ever use any of this algebra?”
She said, “You won’t, but some of the smart kids might.”

Genders are like the Twin Towers
There used to be two of them and now it’s a really sensitive subject.

I’ve decided that from January 1st, I’m only going to watch things that are 1080p.
It’s my new year’s resolution.

Photographer: My secret of success is? ‘Think negative’!

Make no mistakes. The junior is your biggest prospect!

Wife: If I would have married a Monster, I would have been felt much better than being with you…
Man: But marriages are not allowed in same blood relation!!

What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.

What time is it? I don’t know. It keeps changing.

I used to have a job at the calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple of days

Why do we consider chickens as friendly animals?
Because they lay their eggs instead of throwing them.

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