Best Corny Jokes



Funny things always make you laugh, and this is one of them, We always read this kind of stuff, it really makes us laugh. We can assure you that if you read our corny one liners collection then it will definitely make you laugh. So, we welcome you all. These are really clean jokes which can appeal both old and young as well as kids also. We are trying to fulfill your need and made the best quality of the corny jokes which brings a smile in your face and make you laugh.

Have a look at the collection written below.

How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips.

How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack.

What would bears be without bees? Ears.

How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.

If you want some more interesting Jokes then visit Bad Jokes

What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.

11. What disease do you get when you put up the Christmas decorations? Tinselitus.

How do billboards talk? Sign language.

What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.

How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.

Why is corn such a good listener? Because it’s all ears.

What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

What did the first plate say to the second plate? Dinner’s on me.

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.

Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion.

When is a car not a car? When it turns into a street.

How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.

Have you heard about the pregnant bed bug? She’s going to have her baby in the spring.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.

Why is there a wall around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Why could the bee not hear what people were saying? He had wax in his ears.

What’s E.T. short for? He’s got little legs.

It’s Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow. I’m dreading it.

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down a mountain.

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You’re looking sharp.

What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast.

What’s a didgeridoo? Whatever it wants to.

Did you hear about the sensitive burglar. He takes things personally.

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

How do you stop moles digging in your garden? Hide the spade.

An Italian chef has died. He pasta way.

What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.

Why did Santa study music at college? To improve his rapping skills.

How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes.

How do snails fight? They slug it out.

What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.

What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.

Why shouldn’t you play cards on the savannah? Because of all the cheetahs.

Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers at parties? They find it hard to break the ice.

Did you hear about the population of Ireland’s capital? It’s Dublin.

How do you impress a female baker? Bring her flours.

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

Why did the mobile phone need glasses? It lost all it’s contacts.

What did the hat say to the scarf? You go ahead, I’ll hang around.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.

What did the chip say when he saw the cheese stealing? Hey, that’s Nachos.

Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his food? Because he was a little shellfish.

What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom? A sink.

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.

63. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? Because he felt crummy.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.

Why do bananas wear sun cream? To stop them from peeling.

What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.

What’s the difference between America and a memory stick? One’s USA and the other’s USB.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.

What’s a bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear.

Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn his alphabet? Because he always got lost at C.

What did the first street say to the second street? I’ll meet you at the intersection.

Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed.

What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

Where do beef burgers go to dance? The meatball.

Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.

Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? The old Volks home.

What do a dog and a phone have in common? They both have collar ID.

What did the red light say to the green light? Don’t look, I’m changing.

What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up? Dino-sore.

What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-bees.

What did the axe murderer say to the judge? It was an axe-ident.

How much does a Mustang cost? More than you can af-Ford.

What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.

What do you call someone who plays tricks on Halloween? Prankenstein.

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.

What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block.

Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant? He was really good at bacon.

What do you call anxious dinosaurs? Nervous Rex.

What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.

93. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.

Why did the poor man sell yeast? To raise some dough.

How do spiders communicate?
Through the World Wide Web.

Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.

A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu

What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?
Shear madness.

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same?
Itenticle.

Where did the cat go when it lost its tail?
To the retail store!

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.

Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
Because it uses a honey comb!

Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
Because they have lots of scales.

What animal has more lives than a cat?
Frogs, they croak every night!

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What is a cat’s favorite breakfast?
Mice krispies

Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A dino-sewer.

What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops!

What pine has the longest needles?
A porcupine.

What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.

Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink!

Why don’t bears wear shoes?

What’s the use? They’d still have bear feet!

What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin sea.

How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.

What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers.

What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A woolen jumper!

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.

120. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
It gave a little wine.

What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.

What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom.

What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A milkshake.

Which day do fish hate?
Fryday.

What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow.

How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.

What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A watch dog.

What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookodile

Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas

What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth!

How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“How do you breathe through something so small?”

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill.

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer.

For sale: Dead Canary.
Not going cheep.

What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They’re under a buck.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument?
A moosician.

Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they’re dead.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder.

What do you call farm animals that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.

What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabites.

Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you’ll never get caught.

Two silk worms got in a fight.
It ended in a tie.

Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did they would always be falling asleep.

Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.

What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.

Where do cows go on holiday?
Moo Zealand.

The early bird might get the worm…
But the second mouse gets the cheese.

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?
“Should we walk home or take a dog?”

What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you?
Big ones.

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite.

What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.

What is a dog’s favorite city?
New Yorkie.

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.

What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower.

What is a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice.

Which kinds of snakes are found on cars?
Windshield vipers.

What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.

What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A rocker spaniel.

What is a cat’s favourite color?
Purr-ple.

I was going to tell you a cow joke…
but it’s pasture bed time.

What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.

Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

What are caterpillars afraid of?
Dogger-pillars.

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost.

What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.

Why did the bee go to the doctor?
Because he had hives.

Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaa-hamas.

What do you call an arctic cow?
An eski-moo.

Why did the lamb run over the cliff?
He didn’t see the ewe turn.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove she wasn’t chicken.

What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
Wait at a buzz stop!

What bird can be heard at mealtimes?
A swallow.

What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant?
A gi-ant.

What do you call a dog magician?
A Labracadabrador.

What do you say if you meet a toad?
“Wart’s new?”

What do prisoners use to talk to one another? Cell phones.

It doesn’t matter if you’re super kind; German kids are kinder.

A cheese factory exploded in France. All that was left was de Brie.

Did you know about the kidnapping at kindergarten? She woke up.

When is the best time to see your dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

When is a goat hairy on the outside and on the inside at the same time? When standing on the barn’s doorway.

Where did you learn how to make ice cream? At sundae school.

What do you call a cake that was made by a prostitute? Hoe-made.

Dogs can’t do MRI scans, but catscan.

Have you heard that there’s a new restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but zero atmosphere.

What do you call a horse that likes to moves around all the time? Unstable.

What do you call a husk of rabbits that are walking backwards? A receding hare line.

Why are astronomers good at organizing a birthday party? Because they know how to planet.

What do you do if you want to make anti-freeze? You take away her jacket.



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