Kids Jokes

Kids are one of the most loveable gifts of God, which bring smile everyone face when they talk. Everyone loves kids for His/her nature and cuteness. Most of the time they thought new thing new word which really brings a smile. They didn’t know what they actually do sometimes they do some comedy sketch sometimes they told some comedy word and many more things which is really loveable, some of the kids jokes we are trying to put here hope most of the people enjoy and smiling after reading this Kids jokes.

Have a look at best Kids Jokes mentioned below:

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

    A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?

    A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

    Because she was stuffed.

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

    A cornfield.

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

     Between us, something smells!

6. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

    Frost bite!

7. What did one plate say to the other plate?

    Dinner is on me!

8. Why did the student eat his homework?

   Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

9. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

   Because when you find it, you stop looking.

10. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

      A coconut on vacation.

11.  Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

       Dill with it.

12. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

      That hit the spot!

13. Why did the kid cross the playground?

      To get to the other slide.

14. How does a vampire start a letter?

      Tomb it may concern…

15. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

      R2 detour.

16. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

      You rocket!

17. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

      Because 7, 8, 9

18. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

      Spelling!

19. When does a joke become a “dad” joke?

       When the punchline is a parent.

20. How do you make a lemon drop?

      Just let it fall.

21. What did the limestone say to the geologist?

     Don’t take me for granite!

22. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?

      A wise quacker.

23. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

      Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

24. What kind of water cannot freeze?

      Hot water.

25. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

      A palm tree!

26. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

     Because he felt crummy.

27. Why was the baby strawberry crying?

      Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

28. What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

      Where is pop corn?

29. What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

      Hailing taxis!

30. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

     About a buck an ear.

31. Where would you find an elephant?

     The same place as you lost her!

32. How do you talk to a giant?

     Use big words!

33. What animal is always at a baseball game?

      A bat.

34. What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

     Snow!

35. What do you call a ghost’s true love?

      His ghoul-friend.

36.. What building in New York has the most stories?

     The public library!

37. What did one volcano say to the other?

       I lava you!

38. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

      It waves!

39. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?

      Twister!

40. How does the moon cut his hair?

      Eclipse it.

41. How do you get a squirrel to like you?

     Act like a nut!

42. What do you call two birds in love?

     Tweethearts!

43. How does a scientist freshen her breath?

     With experi-mints!

44. How are false teeth like stars?

      They come out at night!

45. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

     She starts coffin.

46. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

      Finding half a worm.

47. What is a computer’s favorite snack?

      Computer chips!!

    —reader Rebecca K.

48. Why don’t elephants chew gum?

      They do, just not in public.

49. What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

50. What did the banana say to the dog?

Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

51.  Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?

  They woke him up.

52.  Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?

      All those fans.

53.  What did one egg say to the other?

      You crack me up.

54.  What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

       Thunderwear.

55.  What kind of witch likes the beach?

        A SAND-witch.

56.  What do you do if you see a spaceman?

      Park your car, man.

57.  Why is there a fence around a cemetery?

       People are dying to get in.


58. How did the egg get up the mountain?

It Scrambled up.

59.  What do porcupines say when they kiss?

       Ouch.

60.  When is a baseball player like a spider?

      When he catches a fly.

61.  How do you keep a bull from charging?

      Take away its credit card.

62.  What do you give a sick bird?

       A tweetment.

63.  Where does a polar bear keep his money?

       a snow bank.

64.  What do cows read?

       CATTLE-logs.

65.  What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?

      Lunch and dinner.

66.  What letters are not in the alphabet?

       The ones in the mail.

67.  Why do fish live in salt water?

      Because pepper makes them sneeze!

68. What do you call a fake noodle?

      An IM-pasta.

69.  Why couldn’t cavemen send cards?

      The stamps kept falling off the rocks.

70. What did the volcano say to his wife?

      I lava you so much.

71.  Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?

       Because, they are always stuffed.

72.  What do you call an old snowman

      Water.

73.  Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake?

       Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

74.  How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?

       When it’s full.

75.  What do you give a sick lemon?

       Lemon aid.

76.  What animal needs oil?

      A mouse because it squeaks.

77.  Why did the melon jump into the lake?

      Because he wanted to be a watermelon.

78.  What has three letters and starts with gas?

      A car.

79.  What animal is best at hitting a ball?

      A bat.

80.  What race is never run?

       A swimming race.

81.  Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?

       Because she’s always running away from the ball.

82.  What did the blanket say to the bed?

      I’ve got you covered.

83.  What is a cat’s favourite colour?

       PURRRR-ple.

84. What kind of cat likes water?

      An octo-PUSS.

85. What has two legs but can’t walk?

     A pair of pants.

86. What’s an astronaut’s favourite candy bar?

      A Mars bar

87. Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom?

      His goulfriend.

88. What do you call a dog on the beach in summer?

      A hot dog.

89.  What did the nut say when it got a cold?

      Cashew.

90.  What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?

       A milkshake.

91.  Why did the little boy throw his clock out the window?

       Because he wanted to see time fly.

92. 51. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

Time to get a new clock.

93. How does a cucumber become a pickle?

     It goes through a jarring experience.

94. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

     A stick.

95. What do you think of that new diner on the moon?

      Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

96. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

     Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

97. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?

     Because she will let it go.

98. How do you make an octopus laugh?

      With ten-tickles!

99. How do you make a tissue dance?

      You put a little boogie in it.

100. What’s green and can fly?

       Super Pickle!

101. Knock knock.

     Who’s there?

     Interrupting pirate.

     Interrupting pir—yarrrrrr!

102. What did the nose say to the finger?

    Quit picking on me!

103. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

    A tuba toothpaste.

104. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

    Because she wanted to go to high school.

105. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

    A blood orange.

106. What do elves learn in school?

 The elf-abet.

107. What do you call a dog magician?

    A labracadabrador.

108. Where do pencils go on vacation?

    Pencil-vania.

109. Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?

    She was a little hoarse.

110. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

    He had no body to dance with.

111. What gets wetter the more it dries?

    A towel.

112. What do you call two bananas?

Slippers.

And speaking of bananas…

113. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

    Because it wasn’t peeling well.

114. What do you call a fake noodle?

    An impasta.

115. What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world? 

    A stamp.

116. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

    With a pumpkin patch.

117. What kind of award did the dentist receive?

    A little plaque.

118. What do you call a funny mountain?

    Hill-arious.

119. Why are ghosts bad liars?

       Because you can see right through them.

120. Why do bees have sticky hair?

        Because they use a honeycomb.

121. What did the big flower say to the little flower?

        Hi, bud!

122. What part of your body can cause the end of the world?

        Your apoco-lips (AJ, age 8!)

123. What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?

        “I Apollo-gize.”

124. Why didn’t the orange win the race?

        It ran out of juice.

125. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary? 

        The thesaurus.

126. What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?

       Do these genes make my butt look big?

127. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

        They have two left feet.

128. What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?

        Owwwww-ch! (by Henrik, age 5)

129. Kid: What are you doing under there?

       Mom: Under where?

       Kid: Ha ha! You said underwear!!

130. Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

        Because he wanted to see time fly.

131. What did one toilet say to the other?

        You look flushed.

132. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

       He wanted cold hard cash!

133. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?

       Because it was full.

134. How do pickles enjoy a day out?

       They relish it.

135. What do you call an old snowman?

        Water.

136. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

        Arrrrrrrrrr

137. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?

        Swimming trunks.

138. How do you throw a party in space?

       You planet.

139. What did zero say to eight?

        Nice belt!

140. What happened when the skunk was on trial?

        The judge declared, “Odor in the court, odor in the court!”

141. What do you call a sleeping bull?

        A bulldozer!

142. Why did the tomato blush?

        It saw the salad dressing.

143. What do you call a fish without an eye?

      A fsh.

144. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

        Anyone can roast beef.

145. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?

        A walkie talkie.

146. Why are robots never afraid?

        They have nerves of steel.

147. Why did the cabbage win the race?

        Because it was a-head.

148. What does an evil hen lay?

       Deviled eggs.

149. What does a book do in the winter?

       Puts on a jacket.

150. Where did article on the famous owl research appear?

In the “Who’s Who.”

151. What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?

Cowboom!

152. What kind of haircuts to bees get?

Buzzzzzcuts.

153. Why didn’t the dental hygienist like her award?

It was a plaque.

154. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?

        A pie-thon.

155. What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?

        Use a door jam.

156. Why was 6 so mad at 7?

        Because 7 8 9.

157. Why didn’t the robot finish his breakfast?

       Because the orange juice told him to concentrate.

158.  What are the strongest days of the week?

         Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak days.

159. What animal can you always find at a baseball game?

        A bat!

160. What can you catch, but never throw?

      A cold!

161. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?

        The “C”!

162. What gets wet while it’s drying?

       A towel!

163. Why can’t your head be 12 inches long?

       Because then it would be a foot!

164. How do all the oceans say hello to each other?

       They wave!

165. What did one wall say to the other wall?

      I’ll meet you at the corner!

166. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

        A gummy bear!

167. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

       Nacho cheese!

168. Where do cows go for entertainment?

       To the moo-vies!

169. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, cows go MOO!

170. What do you call a cow with no legs?

       Ground beef!

171. What do you call a cow with two legs?

       Lean meat!

172. What do you call a pig that knows karate?

        A pork chop!

173. Why are ghosts bad liars?

        Because you can see right through them!

174. What animal needs to wear a wig?

       A bald eagle!

175. What do you call a fly without wings?

       A walk!

176. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

A little old lady?

A little old lady who?

I didn’t know you could yodel!

177. Why do bees have sticky hair?

        Because they use honey combs!

178. What do you call an alligator in a vest?

       An investigator!

179. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

       Because she will let it go!

180. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

        Frostbite!

181. What has four wheels and flies?

        A garbage truck!

182. Why did the man run around his bed?

        Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

183. Why did the math book look so sad?

        Because it had so many problems!

184. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

       Of course!  The Empire State Building can’t jump!

185. If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?

        Pilgrims!

186. What do you call a sleeping bull?

        A bulldozer!

187. What did the zero say to the eight?

        Nice belt!

188. Why do sharks swim in saltwater? 

        Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

189. Where do you find a dog with no legs?

        Right where you left him!

190. Where do fish keep their money?

        In the river bank!

191. Why did the gum cross the road?

        It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!

192. What is brown and sticky?

        A stick!

193. Why did the picture go to jail?

        It was framed!

194. How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

       Your head hits the ceiling!

195. Why are elephants so wrinkled?

        Because they take too long to iron!

196. How do you keep an elephant from charging?

        Take away her credit card!

197. Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?

        So he could hide in the crayon box!

198. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

        By the footprints in the butter!

199. What is the difference between elephants and grapes?

        Grapes are purple.

200. What do you call a dog that can tell time?

        A watch dog!

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